U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
