the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
BRING THE BAGELS
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
