even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
