what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
