"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
