i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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