next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
