i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Is Oprah even human
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
