so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
