so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
