Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
