Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
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