I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
