I heard we made out
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
