That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
