am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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