he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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