it's too hot outside to masturbate.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
