I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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