He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
