i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
