I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
