you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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