I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
