it wasn't lemon gatorade
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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