He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
