we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
