I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
