I wanna bring you to show and tell
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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