lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
