can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
