His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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