He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
