im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
