Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
