Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
