Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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