i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
