Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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