I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
