When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
