i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
