When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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