I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
