Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
