I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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