I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
