Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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