If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
