College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
