Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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