I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
