Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
