You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
