You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
