clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
